SarahPayeton

May 21

What do I do?

I’m so lost. I don’t know what to do anymore. Why can’t I just do what is gonna make me happy? Why am I so worried about everyone else? I saw him the other day. I still love him. My heart dropped to my stomach when I saw his face. We talked for hours. We yelled, we cried, but we also laughed and smiled. I couldn’t even remember why I broke up with him. He asked me, “how could I just fall out of love with him?” I didn’t reply. I looked at the ground and avoided eye contact. I kept my head down in silence. He asked me again. I still didn’t reply. I couldn’t reply…because I’m still in love with him. I’ve been trying to think of a good reason for breaking up with him; I can’t find one. I just wish I could turn back time. I would go back and change everything. I would’nt have broken the one heart that truly beats for me. I would’ nt have hurt the one person who cares more about me than they care about themselves. Why do I have to be so stupid all the time? Now I’m worried about things be different. If we got back together, things would never be the same. That’s what I hate the most. I don’t want things to be different. I just want him back. I miss him. I’ve missed him every second since the moment I hung up the phone. When he came by the other day, he stayed for hours, strictly because I didn’t want him to leave. We kissed that night. I still get the same feeling I got the very first time we kissed. My stomach flutters away and it feels like I’m on air. It feels as if time stops just for us and we are the only people in the world. I still get that feeling. He held me in his arms. My safe haven. The only place I ever wanted to be; the only place I still want to be. All my worries and troubles melt away when he hold me. I feel safe. I feel happy. So why can’t I feel like that again? What would be so wrong with that? I just wish someone could help me. All I hear is “It’s your decision.” I’m sick of that…

4 days ago

Apr 08